Bad Taste
|
Equipment Violations
|
| Obnoxiously showy warmup |
$15 |
Dropping mute |
$10 |
| Vibrato on unison passage |
$10 |
Dropping horn |
$50 |
| Failure to swing |
$90 |
Dropping dead |
$3 |
| Playing highest possible note during warmup |
$25 |
Forgetting pencil |
$10 |
| Practicing multiple tonguing not called for on gig |
$10 |
Forgetting porno magazines |
$99 |
| Failure to use 3rd valve slide when necessary |
$10 |
Blaming mistake on bad reed |
$35 |
| Being told by Leader to play louder |
$75 |
Blaming mistake on sticky valve |
$35 |
| Taking tuning note up an octave |
$20 |
Polishing horn on stage |
$65 |
| Playing Bb when band is playing A |
$45 |
More Bad Taste
|
| Blacking out after high note |
$10 |
Having nicer gig bag than rest of section |
$25 |
|
Lead Players
|
Practicing legit style on commercial gig |
$15 |
| Changing mouthpiece mid-song |
$15 |
Beginning sentence with "When I played with Kenton" |
$99 |
| Faking section into early entrance |
$15 |
Wearing white socks with black suit |
$15 |
| Faking self into early entrance |
$90 |
Looking better than Band Leader |
$25 |
| Asking Leader if it's OK to take lick up an octave |
$25 |
Playing better than Leader |
$1 |
| Asking Leader if it's OK to take lick down an octave |
$75 |
Basic Stupidity
|
| Missing last note on "In the Mood" |
$95 |
Drunkenness on gig |
$10 |
Non-Lead Players
|
Sobriety on gig |
$75 |
| Missing entrance when lead player drops out on unison |
$25 |
Sitting next to Leader at pre/post gig meal |
$85 |
| Hanging over when lead player drops out on last chord |
$85 |
Riding to gig with Leader |
$95 |
| Attempting unassigned high note |
$90 |
Pretending to be friends with Bone players |
$25 |
| Asking lead player what mouthpiece he uses |
$25 |
Actually being friends with Bone player |
$50 |
| Pointing out to lead player that guy on record took it
up |
$50 |
Dating Bone player |
$95 |
| Attempting to out-screech lead player |
$30 |
Playing on a Jet-Tone mouthpiece |
$15 |
| Successfully out-screeching lead player |
$95 |
Playing an Accordion |
$99 |
| Continuously asking "Where are we?" |
$30 |
Reporting income to IRS |
$99 |