Vol. 5, No. 57

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contrabass list                           Sat, 25 Apr 1998           Volume 1 : Number 57

In this issue:

Date: Fri, 24 Apr 1998 18:49:11 EDT
From: OctoContra <OctoContra@aol.com>
Subject: Instrument Jokes

Soprano Jokes:

Alto Jokes:

Tenor Jokes:

Bass Jokes:

High School Chorus Jokes


The pass mark is 10% but be careful--over 45% it means you're really a baritone!

1).Who wrote the following:

[5 pts.]

2).Tschaikovsky wrote 6 symphonies including Symphony no. 4. Name the other five. [5 pts.]

3). Explain "counterpoint" or write your name on the reverse of the paper.  [10 pts.]

4). Which of the following would you tuck under you chin?

5). Can you explain "sonata form"? (Answer yes or no.)        [5 pts.]

6). Which of the following literary works was made the subject of a Verdi opera?

[5 pts.]

7). Domenico Scarlatti wrote 555 harpsichord sonatas for which instrument? [5 pts.]

8). Arrange the following movements in order of speed, starting with the slowest first.

[4 pts.]

9). Where would you normally expect to find the conductor during a performance? [5 pts.]

10). Which of the following wrote incidental music to A Midsummer Night's Dream?

[5 pts.]

11). Which of the following is the odd one out?

[5 pts.]

12). Arrange the following words into the name of a well known Puccini opera.

13). Within five minutes, how long is Chopin's Minute Waltz?        [5 pts.]

14). From which of the following countries did Richard Strauss come?

[5 pts.]

15). For what town were Haydn's "Paris" Symphonies written?           [5 pts.]

16). Which is the odd one out?

[5 pts.]

17). From which song do the following lines come?
"God save our gracious Queen, Long live our noble Queen."        [5 pts.]

18). Spell the following musical terms.

[5 pts.]

19). Tosca is a character found in which Puccini opera?           [5 pts.]

20). Arrange the following letters to form the abbreviation for a well known Canadian broadcasting corporation.

[5 pts.]

To all choral singers/conductors:
A few clarifying definitions.

Tonic:  What is generally enjoyed over ice after choir rehearsal
Dominant:  In a choral relationship, usually the alto.
Augmentation:  Special surgery for altos involving the implantation of falsettos.
Score:  Basses 3, Tenors 0.
Riff:  What happens when someone takes your choir robe.
Contralto:  An alto who has been convicted.
Polychoral Motet:  Six parrots singing "Exultate Justi"
Aleatoric Music:  Music composed by the random selection of pitches and rhythms.  Frequently found in the choir anthem.
Basso Continuo:  When the director can't get them to  stop.
Castrato:  The highest male voice (some alteration required)
Etude:  What comes right before the Beatitudes
Concerto Grosso:  An accordion concert.
Glissando:  What directly precedes the highest note of a descant.
Leitmotif:  Like a regular motif, but less filling.
Polonaise:  A condiment frequently put on a parrot sandwich.
Recapitulation:  What usually happens after you eat a parrot sandwich.
Rondo:  A popular sixties song, as in "Help, help me, Rondo."
Theme:  We hate this anthem.
Theme and Variations:  We hate this anthem, the composer, and all of the composer's relatives.
Smorzando:  The "All-You-Can-Eat" buffet at Luciano's
Grand Pause:    When the conductor loses his place.
Perfect Pitch:  Throwing a banjo in the dumpster without hitting the sides.
Cantus Firmus:  A singer in good physical condition.  As opposed to the "cantus phlabbious."  (See "sackbut")
Antiphonal:  Leaving your answering machine on all the time.
Sackbut:   A choral singer over 40.
Heterophony:  The only kind of music allowed at the Southern Baptist Convention.
Chorale Partitas:  Small choir get-togethers that are frequently interrupted by the police.


End of list V1 #57

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